free time

2004
01.10

why is it that no matter how many times you have heard something and agreed with it, that you always end up failing to do it? there are so many times that i either hear something or read something from the bible that is just screaming “listen bonnie!” and at the time i say “oh yeah” and then even days later i find myself continuing on with my way as if i hadn’t heard/seen it at all. then awhile down the road i’m reminded yet again and the cycle continues. i know i’m not the only one out there. doesn’t everyone yearn for someone to tell them exactly what they are supposed to be doing in life? so often someone does and we are too blinded by our own selfish desires to listen. and how many of us hear that little voice in our heads telling us to do or not do something and no matter how loud that voice gets we still choose to ignore it? how many of us take each and every second for granted as if we will have the next one and the next one only later to hear on the news of some freak accident that took the life of a little one or an unexpected illness claiming the life of someone’s loved one? i know you are thinking (as well as i am even typing this) that yeah yeah these are all great points but who cares. but really shouldn’t we all care? for in the next second i or you could die of a fluke accident whether it be a heart attack or a gun shot, both of which seem highly unlikely but don’t you think the people it happens to thought the same thing? and another thing….don’t you find it eerily funny that the people you find yourself judging at first sight often end up being your best friend or in some form a better friend to you than you ever thought possible? isn’t it funny how God works? how He can stick the very thing in your face that you try so hard to avoid? life is funny but God is even funnier. i’d like to spend a day with God and watch all the amazing things He can do…..but then again don’t I have that opportunity everyday? A friend to pop up just when you least expect it, a new born baby, a beautiful sunrise/sunset, hugs, kisses, that little tingle in your tummy when someone you love looks your way, the stars at night, dreams to follow, family and friends, a not so graceful moment just so you will take a moment to laugh at yourself, jelly donuts :), etc. thank you God!