Life with True and Trusted Friendships


There are countless times in the last year even that I can honestly say that I have relied on and lived on prayers from true and trusted friends (you know who you are). These aren’t just regular friendships, but ones that have proven, over time, to speak truth into my life whether it’s the easy and popular response or in fact, the opposite.

I’ll admit, like anyone else, sometimes hearing advice that differs from what I want or think should be, is discouraging and frustrating. As I get older though, I am learning to appreciate it much more.

It’s common to hear or think, “Well that’s easy for you to say!” and quickly want to discard that advice because, “Obviously they have no clue about my situation” or “That would never work…for me!” or “That’s ridiculous!”. But, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. With these established and tested relationships, this advice that is given, although it may seem easy for them to say,  is exactly why it could most-likely be the best advice to take. These trusted friends are looking at the situation from a different lens. One that is loving yet isn’t emotionally attached to the situation. It’s, in most cases, a clearer lens than I could ever see. So, it may seem easy for them to say, because it is. They speak truth without a quick and emotional response. They simply love and want to share what they know to help. It’s good stuff!

Advice from true (truth) friends may not be what I want to hear but it’s what I need to hear and it will set me on a better course for success and for me anyway, on a course to grow closer to God.

Find these friends people! They are out there. And…or…BE these friends!

Still Celebrating




I’m so mad at myself for not taking the time a few days ago to post. July 27th was the one year anniversary of us finding out about Hannah. I remember it like it just happened. I remember the feeling of anticipation mixed with the feeling of my heart sinking. I wanted the test to be positive so badly but had given up on the hope that it ever would be. I remember Justin taking my hand and then holding me close as we prayed to our Father about the pregnancy test behind the door we stood next to. I remember Justin going in first to grab it and I remember the breath I forgot to take as I waited. Then…it happened…the moment we both realized our lives had changed forever. We were going to be a mom and a dad.

It was such an amazing moment between me, Justin, and God, eight years in the making and many heartfelt prayers. God is so good all the time. His plans ARE better than ours. Waiting eight years for Hannah wasn’t my ideal plan but she is a definite gift from God and I would wait many more if I had to just to get to be her mom.

Thank you Lord for this precious and perfect gift. We tell her about you every day and can’t wait until she knows you fully. 

Hannah’s Daddy



It’s a very common thing for a girl to grow up and want to find her prince…someone like her Daddy. Sometimes it’s subconscious and sometimes it just happens. Well I definitely grew up and found my prince in Justin. There are so many similarities between him and my Dad. I thank God every day and sometimes several times a day for blessing me with Justin. I smile at the thought of Hannah growing up watching her Daddy and how much he loves her Mom and how he treats her like a princess. To think that someday she too will be out there looking for her prince…someone like her Daddy makes my heart smile.

I say all that to now describe the events of my day. Today was Hannah Joy’s first day at day care. I’ve been  dreading this day and in some ways looking forward to it. For the past 10 weeks I’ve been so blessed to be able to be with Hannah every day. How was I going to be able to just hand her over to strangers (awesome people but yet not her mom or dad)? I started crying last night already as I held her in my arms and rocked her to sleep.

This morning I was a hot mess before even walking out the door. Each morning Justin and/or I try to dance with Hannah to some random song…sometimes it’s thought out and sometimes we just go randomly through our iTunes songs. Today was a random day…I closed my eyes and scrolled my finger down until I decided to stop and open my eyes. I landed on “What If I Loved You” from the Return to Me movie soundtrack. I didn’t know what it was but I liked the movie so I thought, “why not?” Boy was it a song chosen by God. Of course it was meant to be a love song but this morning the words (most of them) were a different kind of love song to my Hannah from me. I just danced around the room with tears coming down. What a beautiful moment.

All the while Justin was running around being the amazing husband/daddy he is trying to get everything packed and ready for work and day care. By the time we left I felt like we were heading on a long trip overseas or something. There were bags everywhere but we made it out the door and to Hannah’s school.

We could feel the many prayers that were lifted for us this morning. God arranged it so we were greeted at the door by Tim and Kim Burkey (my coworker) with huge encouraging smiles. On the way to the nursery I was already crying though. It was just too much to hold in but we were greeted by the sweet and totally amazing ladies of the nursery. They understood and I’m sure were used to blubbering moms. They made the transition much easier and after a few moments we kissed Hannah and were on our way. We even ran into Brittany (coworker/friend) in the parking lot as she was dropping off her baby girl.

We got to the car and the plan was to go to Dunkin’ Donuts to grab a dozen for work so Jeanna and I along with our coworkers/friends could drown our tears in sugar as we survived the first day away from our babies. But…my prince had something else in mind. He said, “Now we can go to Dunkin’ or we can go home and take a nap, or do something else…” and I gave him the craziest look because duh we had to go to work! Turns out he had arranged for us to have the day off to spend together so he could help me keep my mind off of worrying about Hannah. My prince swept me away for the day. I felt like a princess for sure. We went to Dunkin’ Donuts and each got a donut, then headed to Silver Beach to eat at Tim’s Too Mongolian restaurant (my fav!) Then we walked around and stared at beautiful Lake Michigan and then of course to Kilwin’s for ice cream (Can’t miss out on that!). And then on to Tiscornia Park to walk the beach and pier. What a beautiful day too! Perfect temps and blue skies and breeze. While I still missed Hannah, I was swept away with my prince and enjoying some much needed time with him. And, I only called the day care once, haha.

I am so thankful for God’s many blessings throughout this day and especially for my husband and his amazing heart and the care he takes of me. I love you Justin! More every day! I am not worthy but I am forever grateful. Hannah is one lucky girl! and so am I!

This guy!



I have known Justin Moore as many things over the years. He was a great guy when I met him, a best friend as I got to know him, an amazing boyfriend while I dated him, the greatest husband when I married him…and in the last almost four weeks I’ve gotten to know him as a daddy to our beautiful Hannah Joy. I know that what I’m going to say will seem biased because I’m his wife but I’m confident that anyone that knows Justin will know it’s true.

Justin has always been there for me. I’ve been amazed by all the things I’ve learned about him through the years and all the ways that he has grown as a person and in each of these roles. He has always taken care of me and put me first. He isn’t afraid to say what he thinks and protect those that he loves and cares for. He loves me so deeply and I see it every day in the ways that he serves me and sacrifices for me. He is a hands-on guy and always works as a team with me. He is confident and willing to try new things. He is a man of many talents and skills. If you ask him he would say he is a “jack of many trades but master of none.” I don’t remember the last time we had to call a handy man to fix something. I didn’t know that about him when I met him but I’ve seen his talents grow over the years. Words can’t express to you what this man means to me. As I sit here trying to type it out with my sleep-deprived, newly-a-mother mush brain, I’m disappointed by my ability to describe Justin and how much he means to me.

I thought I knew all there is to know about Justin in the 14 years I’ve known him. Boy was I wrong. On March 17-20th I got to know him in a whole new way. While I labored for many hours in the anticipation of Hannah’s arrival, he was all the categories I described above to me. He walked along side me every step of the way (which wasn’t a surprise). He showed confidence and care as well as sweetness and tenderness. He was my rock. There is no way I could have made it through the 60+ hours of labor without him. My favorite part was watching him become a daddy. I watch him in a whole new role. The first time he held her I never wanted to look away. How precious to see such an enormous love he had for little Hannah. Over the next hours and days I continued to see him embrace our little girl, change diapers, swaddle like a boss, get up throughout the night to help me and Hannah. He never wavered. He was so strong for us both and made it look simple when I know it wasn’t. He continues to step up and help with diapers, swaddling, changing clothes, taking care of me and bringing me anything I need. He is always there and when he gets home from work he can’t wait to scoop little Hannah up and cuddle with her. There is no question how much he loves me and Hannah. He is an amazing dad and I can’t wait to watch his love for her grow in the years to come and see just how much she will have him wrapped around her finger. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her and I’m so grateful and unbelievably blessed to have him as my husband and the father of my beautiful girl. He says I’m the strong one but I think together we are strong! I love you Justin!

Our Long Journey


Where to start…all of my childhood to adulthood it was ingrained in my head through TV shows and watching families around me that when I found the man of my dreams and got married one day that the next step would be to have a baby. Not once in my years of picturing and wondering about the man I would marry and the family I would have did the thought ever occur to me that there might be a chance that I couldn’t have a baby. It’s just something that people don’t talk about. It’s that quiet yet large elephant in the room that no one wants to mention. It’s almost treated like a contagious disease.

When I was 16, my oldest sister, Erin, got married. Of course I joined the bandwagon of people asking, “When are you going to have a baby?” As time went by and they tried to have a baby, it didn’t happen like I had always seen on TV. They tried so hard and went through many tests and procedures. After two tragic miscarriages they were about to give up but with one final try, they were blessed with their son, Walker. What a beautiful child of God he is. His spirit is so genuine. He loves God and loves everyone around him. I know he will grow up to be something great but even now I think he is the greatest!

Fast-forward about six years, when Justin and I got married. I don’t think we had even left the reception yet and had already been bombarded by people making comments and asking, “When are you going to have a baby?” Geez Louise people! Give us a break and let us experience and love each moment we are in before wishing us onto the next.

Justin and I agreed early on that we wanted to wait a few years before even trying to have a baby. We had heard from so many that we needed to enjoy the time together and really get to know each other and learn how to live together. I’m so thankful for that advice because it’s so true. We were content for those years and in our newlywed bliss bubble. I was on birth control and we were loving life.

When the time came for “baby fever” I was so excited and anxious. I guess I thought that I would stop the pill and BOOM be pregnant. You know…like on TV. A couple months went by and nothing. I started researching using “Dr. Google” of course (don’t ever do that by the way!). I read things like, if you don’t get pregnant in 6-12 months of trying there could be problems. I thought, eh, it’s still early on, maybe next month. As each month ticked by there were still no signs of Baby Moore. I didn’t realize that it could take this long, be this hard. It seemed that everyone I ran into was asking why I wasn’t pregnant. Even family started dropping hints and jokes as if trying to persuade us to get moving on the subject.

I kept quiet, laughed at their jokes and went on but really inside it began to wear on me. Each time someone would ask it was harder to smile. I did though because no one wants to hear the real reason we don’t have Baby Moore yet. No one wants to hear about the struggles. I used to ask people the same question about babies as if it was just normal conversation, never thinking about what they were going through. I don’t ask that question anymore, no matter how long people have been married.

I had been taking prenatal vitamins and had just really started to talk to my doctor about my concerns when God called Justin and I to move to Indiana. Talk about a life change. That’s another story though, but through that process, the baby topic hit the back burner. I’m not even sure it was near the “stove” for a while. I was jobless for about five months, most of which was winter season, so I ended up going into a bit of a depressive state. I gained weight and was just not motivated to do much.

Later I did get a job and eventually made myself find a new doctor here in Indiana. Luckily a friend of mine gave me a name of a great doctor to try. The first yearly appointment I just went to do the usual checkup. I liked her. She really seemed genuine and had a great reputation with people I talked to.

At this point Justin and I were in our 5th (ish) year of marriage. People stopped asking as often, as if they’d given up on us too and were disappointed. Even family got tired of asking. I waited until the next year’s appointment to bring up my concerns with my doctor. She immediately jumped into action and told me not to worry, that she was going to help get me on the right track for pregnancy. I started the vitamins again. I even started working out more, thinking that if my body was healthier, maybe a baby would want to live there. Still nothing. Month after month I would wait eagerly for the day my period was to start. And every time without fail it would arrive, like clockwork. I’ve never even skipped a period. My body is so in tune that I know the exact day (most of the time) that it will start, kind of like birth control.

By my next appointment, she began to take more action. She met with Justin and I and discussed options and answered questions. I so appreciated that. My next step was to test my fallopian tubes to be sure I didn’t have any blockages. I can’t even describe to you what that felt like. I had to go to radiology at the hospital for this procedure. I have always wanted a woman doctor for things like this for my own comfort level and what do you know, I ended up with a male doctor that day. I guess that’s one way to get over the fear of that. Justin waited outside as they filled me full of fluid, laid me on a cold surface and moved me every which direction so they could scan and take images of certain areas. It was so uncomfortable. Painful even. When they were finished they released the fluid and I felt like I had wet myself. I felt like a lab rat. Later the doctor shared with me that I didn’t have any blockages. Good news…I guess. But it just left more unanswered questions.

A little while later Justin and I bumped into an old friend who started the conversation with, “I’m gonna get Justin a key.” I looked at him confused and he said “for that chastity belt so you will have you a little one finally.” He laughed and thought he was the funniest thing all while pretty much telling me I was taking too long for societies standards. I smiled and faked a small laugh all while wishing I could crawl away somewhere. Later he found me again and said, “I’m gonna get that key now,” and reached into his pocket laughing. I love this guy. He is a great man, but I didn’t love this moment.

I’ve managed to share a few things here and there with our families so they understand and have been most gracious to leave us alone and not keep asking. I can’t help but feel like I’m letting them down and keeping them from living the dream of having a grand baby (and another grand baby for my side of the family). A handful of friends have ever really asked me how I am and what the situation is. I’m so thankful for their prayers and concern. They check in with me occasionally to see if there’s an update.

At this point there are no answers. I’ve long given up any hope or excitement each month as my period nears. I just know it will be the same old song. I’m also mad at myself for this. I know God can do anything He wants to and He has His own timeline, not mine. I feel like I’m letting Him down by my lack of emotion these days. All I’ve ever wanted to do was have a baby with Justin. I want to be able to make him a daddy and add to our family tree and leave a legacy. Sometimes the silence in this category is deafening for me.

People all around me are having babies. Some aren’t even trying to and they get pregnant. I hear news stories of abused kids and babies that have been thrown away left for dead. It sickens me, yet I battle this alone. At least it feels like it. I can’t give my husband a child and I don’t know why.

We are currently waiting for another test. Justin this time. Once we hear back from that, if that doesn’t give us any clues, then there’s only one more step. We’ve discussed it together and agreed that we know that God is powerful and if He wants us to have a baby then He will make it so. We don’t want to waste money and precious time on tons of tests and procedures that will surely bankrupt us. We want to be good stewards of the money God has given us. We believe He knows that and as we are faithful to Him, He will honor that.

Some of you may know my story of how we came to move to Indiana. If not, I’m sure I blogged about it somewhere. Basically, I wrote about my experience of how God spoke to me during that process. I’ve always been a firm believer that God knows how to speak to each of us as individuals. We may not always listen or be tuned in but He is always trying. God spoke to me during that time via radio, preacher, coffee mugs, books, etc. He found ways to reach me throughout my days with a simple and steady phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.” It didn’t make the process easy but it made it easier knowing that I just needed to trust Him and honor Him. Once I did that, everything fell into place. Just like when Joshua stepped into the water and the waters parted. That only happened after he took the first step/leap.

More and more lately…maybe it’s because I’m getting old (seriously though). The baby topic keeps coming in waves. Each one seems faster and bigger than the one before. I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t want to be an old mom who doesn’t want to play with her kids because she is too tired. But, what if I’m meant to never be a mom at all? Why would God put the desire in my heart if that were true? These are just a few of the arguments I have with myself.

I think I locked myself away for a while and let myself become numb. I think that I wasn’t hearing direction from God because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t listening to what He was trying to tell me.

Our small group is going through a study right now of “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. I was reluctant at first to dive in, but as God would have it, day after day of doing this study, it was like God was talking directly to me. Since this study started, I’ve also heard it confirmed in other things like the songs I would hear on the radio, the thoughts that would pop in my head, the conversations people around me were having. It’s kind of like when you see a certain style of car you haven’t seen before and then all of a sudden you see them everywhere you go. Is it because they’ve never been there or because you just weren’t looking for them? How’s that for profound?

What I’m hearing lately is that God may have another door open for Justin and I as parents. As I was drying my hair one morning, I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular when suddenly I was reminded of the story of Mary when the angel came to see her.

Luke 1:30-33


The angel told her, “Don’t be afraid, Mary. You have found favor with God.


You will become pregnant, give birth to a son, and name him Jesus.


He will be a great man and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him

the throne of his ancestor David.


Your son will be king of Jacob’s people forever, and his kingdom will never end.”

He told her she would be having a child. A child that wasn’t hers. And he entrusted her to raise him to become the Son of the Most High. Wow! My thoughts (I consider this to be the Holy Spirit) then turned my attention to how that could relate to me. What if God has a child for me, that isn’t mine, that I am to find and raise into someone that could change the world? (not saying I would get another Jesus haha). How amazing and scary at the same time. But it has renewed my spirit. What if?

Throughout my group’s book study, I’ve been hearing what I feel may be confirmation that this is from God. It even came right out and said, “adopt” in those words one day, when it could have been worded many other ways to describe it. God knows how to speak to us. I don’t know why I had it in my head that He would change His approach. That’s silly. He knows what works for me, so don’t I feel like a goof for not expecting and leaning in to hear.

I’m also learning from my study, as God speaks what it means to be in fellowship/community with others. It shouldn’t be just a surface level communication amongst each other, it should be a deeper level if we are ever to grow together. I’ve spent the last six months of this group only showing people the surface, the good stuff, the stuff I only wanted others to see. Not my weaknesses and struggles. I am feeling called lately to communicate with my coworkers (another form of fellowship) and my group.

I’ve spent my whole adulthood feeling ashamed of my situation. It isn’t something people talk about, but why not? Shouldn’t it be? When we are at our weakest is when we need people there to lift us up, pray for us, encourage us.

Justin and I don’t exactly know our next steps. We still have a few things we wish to pursue with trying to conceive but we are on the same page and want to honor God in whatever we do. Pray for us as we make decisions and go through processes that help clarify our next steps.

Updated… August 18, 2015

Wow, I just spent a few minutes reading this entry I made on a dark day just five months ago. A lot has changed so I wanted to catch you up.

Justin and I spent some time talking with a friend who has adopted through the foster care system. We had decided to explore the adoption option to see where it would lead us. After this meeting it was still so unclear to us what our next steps should be. At this point, like other times in our lives, we didn’t know what to do so we decided to do nothing. We didn’t have confidence one way or another so we were reminded to “Be still.”

A few months went by, summer arrived and so did family. While Justin’s parents and sister were here for July 4th I had gotten pretty sick. I ended up going to the doctor several times over a two month stretch and ended up with bronchitis and a sinus infection that just wouldn’t go away. I went through two rounds of antibiotics and was still struggling. My period hadn’t started like it should (mine always starts like clock work) and I had Googled that antibiotics could cause delays in cycles so I just passed it off as a delay. Finally a friend of mine suggested I take a pregnancy test. That was so far off my radar. I had written it off as no longer a possibility but as she encouraged me and shared that something similar had happened to her when she found out she was pregnant. We decided to get a test.

To our amazement the test came back positive and we can’t wait to welcome Baby Moore to our family at the end of March 2016. God is good. His timing is perfect. He always has a plan and it just wasn’t time until now. He had other things for me to concentrate on until now. So, never give up hope. Listen to what God is telling you and if you don’t know what that is, try being still. He will show you.








Be still, and know that I am God -Psalm 46:10

Do you ever have those moments when something you have heard or maybe thought of before comes to mind and just seems so much clearer? I had one of those this morning as I stood outside with the pups before work.  The snow was gently falling and, except for the occasional car passing by, it was silent.  I got to thinking about winter and how much I love it. Then my thoughts moved to why God made winter, and suddenly it was clear…God made winter as a time when things slow down,  there’s more silence, and life is still. My mind immediately translated that thought into our own lives.  God made winter, times when life stops or slows from its regular rhythm so that we will stop, be still and know that He is God.  He covers up all that we can see and be distracted by so that we are able to focus on Him and listen for new direction.  It never fails in nature that once the snow/winter is gone that new life appears, growth happens, change happens. So it is the same in life, if we let it be. What a beautiful reminder that God loves me and wants what is best for me.  He wants to hear from me in the stillness and most importantly for me to hear from Him. 

Be still my friends and enjoy this day!

This is not the man I married…


IMG_5823Ten years ago I was the happiest girl on earth, marrying Justin…my best friend. I thought I knew Justin at his fullest. I loved him then so much that my heart overflowed with joy. The kind that only comes from God. Little did I know how wrong I was. While I did marry my best friend and the best guy in the world…I didn’t realize how much I still would learn about Justin.

Over the years God has revealed more and more to me about this man I love so much. Some of my dad’s advice to Justin while they had “the talk” about him wanting to marry me was to not let people walk all over me (since I’m often too nice to stick up for myself). My dad can be super proud of the man he gave me to. Justin has stuck up for me more times than I can count and has taught me to be a stronger person along the way.

A few years into our marriage we were determined to better our future by embarking on a difficult journey to set ourselves up for financial freedom through Dave Ramsey’s teachings. That was definitely not easy and we wished we had done it sooner but we did it together and learned so much about each other. Through that we strengthened our love for each other and our goals became unified.

One of my favorite things that Justin and I do together is pray together. I love being able to see Justin’s heart and his relationship with our Father. We can join together in something so intimate which allows us to be more fully united in Christ together. Justin has always backed me up in difficult times and has prayed some of the most powerful prayers for me. Knowing that this guy is praying for me and loving me, makes me feel like I can do anything.

I used to get jealous and sometimes just plain aggravated with Justin when I would have a problem and he would silently listen to what I had to say and then offer these brilliant words of advice to help me, often making it seem so simple. One day God truly revealed to me that I shouldn’t be jealous or aggravated but truly grateful that Justin has such deep spiritual gifts called wisdom and discernment. He knows what to say, when to say it, even if it’s the tough thing to say. I am so blessed with his gift. I trust him completely to make the best decisions for our family.

Boy is he a handy guy too. Not only with technology but anything he wants to learn how to do, he figures it out. He researches. He isn’t afraid to try new things, and he is confident. These too are traits that I don’t share yet I am so grateful for.

Our latest journey together has been that of working to become healthier. I wanted to lose the excess weight I gained during a stressful time in my life and he jumped right on board with me. I can’t tell you how much of a blessing that was. To have someone alongside me to encourage and support me. And we both LOVE food. We have been able to lose the weight and learn to make better food and exercise choices.

This guy is definitely not the guy I married ten years ago. He is a much better version of the man I was already head over heels in love with. Each day I get to be with him, I am so thankful for.

Happy Anniversary Justin! I love you and can’t wait to see what I find out about you in the years to come.

New beginning


I have been working at Bethel College in the Campus Store for just under four and a half years.  In that time I have grown in so many ways.  I went from assistant manager to manager of the Campus Store, survived a building expansion while remaining open for business, and experienced, due to budget cuts the loss of a very valued and loved coworker (her position was eliminated).  In these times, as in my every day life, I have leaned on the love and care of my Lord and Savior.  Someone told me once that if everything is going dandy in your life and you aren’t experiencing spiritual warfare then you aren’t a current threat to Satan.  Ever since I heard that I have always found a moment to remind myself whose side I’m on and then just grin because that means I’m making Satan nervous.


Starting a few months ago I felt like something was changing within me.  While I loved Bethel (and still do), I felt a faint tapping at the back of my mind.  I didn’t understand it at first and even ignored it.  In June, when my coworker’s position was eliminated I felt as if a dam had burst.  My cup was already running over with daily duties and now how was I going to take on her responsibilities as well as run a store on my own?  In the wise words of my loving husband, he explained to me that my “cup” had been running over for a long time and until I could show people that I couldn’t accomplish my tasks, then it would be assumed that everything was just fine.  Being a worker and not wanting others to view my shortcomings as my lack of ability to do my job, I would put in extra hours and run at full capacity.  I realized that I had forgotten what it was like to breathe and to relax.  I began feeling it in my chest and would often cry on Justin’s shoulder at night.  I wanted so much for the store to be a success and to accomplish everything on my plate at the time it needed to be done.  I realized that my attitude was slipping and I was growing tired.  During this process I still felt that gentle nudge.


In one of my emotional lows I found out about a part time accounting position at GCC. I decided to apply and went to an interview.  I was even called back for a second interview but in the interim realized that this position was not what I felt like God was leading me towards.  A few months went by and I received an email from Jami Ruth at GCC about a position that had opened up on the Communications team and we made arrangements to meet and talk about the role.  I quickly found myself getting excited like a little schoolgirl.


I spent much time in prayer throughout my days asking God to guide me.  One morning on my way to work I was searching all my radio stations trying to find music to listen to and was unsuccessful.  I landed on a station that happened to be talking about jobs.  Some of you may know from my story about our move to Indiana that God has used the radio to speak to me quite clearly before.  I truly believe that God knows how to get our attention.  I was riding along listening to this man that called in about his new job.  He must have been in some trouble in the past and was just getting back on his feet.  The next thing I heard resonated in my mind and my heart the rest of the way to work.  The DJ said to the man, “Wow, it sounds like God is really doing something and it’s time for a change.”  Talk about chills! I don’t believe in coincidences.  I believe in God instances and this was a major one.   A tear ran down my face as I realized this message was indeed for ME.


That same afternoon my cell phone rang and the call went to voicemail (because I was at work).  I later listened to the message and it was a friend of mine that I hadn’t talked to in awhile.  She wanted to meet for lunch.  I thought it was strange that she would be calling me out of the blue but when I later met with her I realized it was about a job opportunity she had for me.  Now I not only had this opportunity at GCC but an opportunity elsewhere too.  I prayed to God asking Him for guidance.  This news of possibly leaving Bethel was so fresh in my mind and now I had two job opportunities before me.  Both were amazing opportunities given to me by God loving people/places.


I began listening to God closer and closer.  I explored more and more scripture, I prayed, I listened to music, and I sat in silence and sometimes tears.  What I realized is that for quite awhile I had been hearing God and feeling like I was listening to Him but had really been allowing Him to become part of the white noise of my every day life.  When I intentionally went to Him and seeked Him on this, it was like it was blaring from everywhere what He was trying to tell me.  He helped me to feel His direction and calling to GCC.  It wasn’t easy and I went through a lot of spiritual warfare to get there but even that showed me that my decision was the right one.


I remember this particular instance clearly because I was amazed yet not surprised at the power of my God but it was so cool to me.  I began my morning reading from my “Jesus Calling” devotional.  (If you haven’t gotten this book yet, do it!  It will speak God’s breathable word to you on a daily basis.) I read the first few lines and I knew the day was going to be a doozy.  It said, “Do not be surprised by the fiery attacks on your mind. When you struggle to find Me and to live in My Peace, don’t let discouragement set in.  You are engaged in massive warfare, spiritually speaking.  The evil one abhors your closeness to Me, and his demonic underlings are determined to destroy our intimacy.  When you find yourself in the thick of battle, call upon My Name: “Jesus, help me!” At that instant, the battle becomes Mine; your role is simply to trust Me as I fight for you.” I was blown away by the wording of this devotion.  In the battle with Satan all I need to do is call out, “Jesus, help me!” and at that instant the battle becomes His? All I could picture was an epic Hollywood fight scene in some movie where there’s darkness and danger and then all of a sudden the hero rushes out and wins.  That’s my God.  I’m sure glad I read that because that day I felt Satan constantly trying to beat me down and I called to Jesus to help me and He took over and helped me through that long and trying day.


I have grown so much through this experience. It was tough to leave Bethel.  I have come to love the people there so much. I have become invested in my student workers’ lives and the lives of my coworkers and community there.  God knew it was going to be hard for me so He filled my last day with love.  People came from everywhere to see me off and wish me luck in my new adventures.  Even Jaimes the UPS man left me a note.  My student workers wrote me beautiful notes and came to be with me throughout the day.  Bethel College is a wonderful place and I believe awesome things are already happening there.  I’m so grateful to have been a part of that campus and can’t wait to see what God brings Bethel in the years to come.


I start my new adventure tomorrow at GCC (Granger Community Church).  I can only imagine what God has in store for me there and for the people that will cross my path while I serve.  For the Bible says in John 12:26, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be.  My Father will honor the one who serves me.”